LADY:I don't think we get that channel.
ME:I'm sorry? Is this a sports bar?
LADY:Honey, we are busy. Let me see if I can find a remote. (there were maybe 15 people in there)
ME:Nice to see customer service is of the utmost importance here.
LADY:Here. I changed it.
ME:Ma'am, that is Fox Sports. They are playing the 1783 Sun Belt championship. I was looking for ESPN.
LADY:Give me a few minutes.
ME:Fine. Man, you thought the 80s had short basketball shorts. They wore just underwear in the 1783 Sun Belt championship.
LADY:Ok, here you go.
ME:Ma'am, this is ESPN2. See, before ESPN2 was ever created, there was this wonderful channel called ESPN.
LADY:Well, I don't think we get that.
ME:WHAAAAAAAAAAT?!?!?! With all due respect, could you be insane? I'm not sure I've ever heard of a Sports Bar without ESPN.
LADY:Jim (manager), do you know if we get ESPN?
JIM:Um, YEAH. Give me the remote.
ME:Oh thank Christ.