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Niiiiiiiiiine times - drunken ramblings

8/8/2002

 
First of all, that's bullshit …

You want to hear some real drunken' bullshit??? Here ya' go …

From the timeless film, Ferris Bueller's Day Off:

Edward Rooney: So far, this semester alone, he's been absent nine times. Including today.

NINE TIMES. Why does that number have so much meaning to me? I'll tell you why … I have either been the last to hook up with, or been the last boyfriend with NINE women who are now either engaged or married. At some times it is a funny stat to pull out amongst your boys while drinking heavily at the bar. At other times, it just seems lonely.

Yes, you've heard it here first. Even jaylowe feels lonely. Most every one of my friends know that I date a lot of women. I think it is the right thing to do. You find out what you like and what you don't. So I suppose, I've sometimes been given the term "playa'". I'm here to tell you that is the furthest thing from the truth. Yes, I date a good bit. Am I a playa'? Not at all.

Sometimes I wish I were. Things would be much easier. I'd learn to not invest emotion and feelings into the women that come into my life. I think that can be a good trait … for some. It isn't a trait I want.

Amazingly enough, jaylowe really wants substance. Deep down, he is tired … SICK and tired of "the game." I've played the game. I've been good at the game. I'm tired of the game. The game isn't worth it. I'm 25 years old. Am I afraid of ending up alone? Not at all … not one bit. Why? Because, at 25, I truly believe I've yet to meet the woman I'll marry.

I don't ask for much. Well, maybe I do. I want beauty … not something just skin deep. I want attraction. I want intelligence. I want artistic ability … even if it is just knowing the difference between Miles and Coltrane. Individuality is important to me. Someone who is comfortable with herself and can portray that to not just a group of friends, but to the masses. Strength … sometimes I lack it, so I might need it from time to time. I am a confident man. You don't want me for your job? You don't want me for your heart? Fine. That is your mistake. Not mine. I know what I am. Do you?

To quote my dear friend Darius Rucker:

This is my world. This is who I am. And I'm not gonna give up myself, to make your life better. This is how it is. I've got my whole life to live, and you can either except me or … "

It's so true. This is me. This web page … every time you meet me. I am me. I'm not trying to be anyone else. I'm so proud of what I have become, and if someone can't understand that, then too bad. My parents made my life easy as I grew up. Helping me and directing me along the way. But now my life is my life, and I'm a damn good person.

I never look for sympathy. I speak what I know, what I believe. If you want to know jaylowe, you are getting a glimpse.

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    the lowe down

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