The last couple of days have been hard. I had a really good week, but things began to weigh heavy on my mind by Friday. The tears streamed down Friday night as I put Emery to bed. I don't want to feel sad for us, for me, for you, but sometimes I cannot help it. I try really hard to focus on our happy memories and all the beautiful things in our life. On Friday evening, I couldn't help but wonder what we would have done with our long weekend. I miss you so much it hurts.
Yesterday wasn't much better. I didn't feel well and I was sad. We spent yesterday evening with family and that was good. It made me feel better to get out of the house. The girls always love playing with their cousins.
Today isn't getting any better either. I have finally openly admitted that I need to re-home our dogs. I'm so very sorry I have to do that. I hope you are not disappointed. It really breaks my heart. Though I knew this was something I needed to do, I have avoided it for awhile. I wasn't sure I could emotionally handle it. That may still prove difficult, but I know deep down it's the best thing I can do for the dogs.
Salem and Sherman came to live with us shortly after we got engaged. They've been with us from the beginning. Yoda showed up 6 months later. Making the decision to let them go feels like letting you go all over again. It's awful. I simply cannot give them the time and attention they deserve. They should be with someone that can love them and play with them, and I just cannot do it all alone. I'm so sorry, Jay. I hope you understand. I hope I can forgive myself one day as well.
I love you forever. I miss you more than you'll ever know.