So it's been about a week since I last wrote. I wish I had a viable excuse, an excuse that really made me seem like I was almost too important to write all the time. An excuse that made me mysterious and more attractive to women. But alas, my excuse is an old standard for self-proclaimed writers: writer's block.
I was bitching about this to Erich last night on instant messenger. Again, another sign that too much of my life is spent in front of a computer; I talk to Erich on IM, not on the phone. Erich made a suggestion to do a piece on writers block. It is an epidemic that has cursed me for years.
It really dates back to college, when papers were a way of life. Write this paper for English, write that article for journalism, write this feature story for the paper, write that game day piece for the football program. Never once did the article or paper just start itself. It was like a ritual.
- Do research or interview
- Sit in front of computer
- Rewrite notes in order you want the paper to flow
- Realize you have no idea how to start paper, get up and go play Playstation with friends
- Find something to eat
- Talk to friends in the house
- Call other friends
- Sit in front of computer again at 1in the morning and begin writing
It's wasn't a well thought out plan, mind you. Somehow, it worked.
Never has this lack of ideas hit me more than in the last 6 or 7 months. It has been apparent in my lack of lyrics written over this time. Honestly, my last full written song was done back in May of 2001. Of course there are times (namely at women's basketball games when I'm bored out of my mind) that something will be scratched down on a piece of a stat sheet. Then there are the times where lyrics will pop in my head, walking down the street. But a full song? No. Why not? Simply put, lack of inspiration.
Probably sounds a little harsher than it should. I've continued to meet interesting people and my future seems to still be up in the air, so I should have plenty to write about.
Recently I decided that I was not putting enough effort into it (similar to this column over the past week). So I took this past weekend to really clear my head, and start writing. Where does the inspiration come from? Relationships, friends, family, feelings that go unshared … so many things needed to be said, there might not be enough paper.
Why is that important? It really isn't to people who don't care. But for someone else out there that has trouble expressing emotion or feeling, that person can write. I once had a friend tell me she thought she could never write songs, that she had enough trouble with paper in college.
Writing lyrics or poetry isn't at all like writing a paper. Papers mainly consist of other peoples' ideas. Poetry and lyrics are your ideas. YOURS! No one else owns them. Granted sometimes someone else may have similar ideas, but your words are your words.
There may not be a better feeling for me than to write a song, put it to music and play it in front of people. I know not everyone comes to hear Argus based on the lyrics. People come watch to support Erich and me. They are our friends. Sometimes the music and the people connect. That is when it is truly special to me. That is when I finally feel good about something I've done.
So that is one of the reasons more lyrics are being written as we speak. Not to mention, I've been more inspired over the last month or two than I have in awhile. What's the basis of that?
Relationships, friends, family, feelings that go unshared … so many things needed to be said, there might not be enough paper.